Home Page >> Columnists Funda GUMUSH | 31 August 2015, Monday

What would you do?


A recent ‘saga’ which unravelled on Facebook prompted me to write this article this week… A young woman, who caught her boyfriend with another girl, attacked the girl in public and got arrested. She shared this story and her incarceration on Facebook and the story began to spread like wildfire. Her so called boyfriend (because rumour has it that they were estranged) denied the relationship with the other girl and responded to girls rants. Cyprus is a small island where everyone knows each other; the fact that it is juicy gossip as well helps so it was the topic of conversation for those with social media accounts… It opened the way for discussion in the office however… Sitting round the table at lunch time, not only were we horrified but amused at the story. Yet it went deeper than that. As most of the office is female orientated we started to chat about what we would do if we were in a similar position. A few of us said we would act with rage whilst others said they would simply walk away. Actually come to think of it, it wasn’t only rage that we expressed but I distinctly remember the phrases “gouging out of the eyes, clothes and vehicles being set on fire!” But really, what would we do if we discovered the infidelity of a loved one? Why do some people stray away from home? What prompts people to cheat on their partners? I know this is a question asked and probably answered satisfactorily or not in magazines; but actions such as these sometimes ring home to some of us. Betrayals, infidelities, call it what you will. Dress it up however you want- at the end of the day, its cheating. If you are in a relationship with a person, what makes you be unfaithful with someone else? Does the problem stem from you or your partner? Does the cheating turn into another relationship? Is it love or desire? The list of ifs and whys is endless and one I’m not going to search the answers for. History is full of great and enduring love stories… However there are also those which begin as steamy affairs or adulterous liaisons which produce consequential history… Take the story of Catherine the Great and Grigory Potemkin. Catherine the Great was married to Czar Peter III; however Potemkin was her counsellor, military strategist; soul mate and toy boy and he helped overthrow her disappointing husband. Their relationship produced a powerful political alliance for decades. However even though his role at court grew, Potemkin’s role in Catherine’s bedroom diminished as he was consigned to be her pimp sometimes. Then we have King Henry the VIII and Anne Boleyn… We have seen and read endless films and books about their affair but history is still a bit hazy about it. However Henry VIII annulled his marriage to Catherine of Aragon and broke away from the Roman Catholic Church to form the Church of England so he could legalise his marriage to Anne. The outcome of this affair? The birth of the future Queen of England, Queen Elizabeth I and Anne’s eventual beheading. How many of you were aware that some of Charles Dickens dark characteristics in his later novels and several of their characters stem from his not so virtuous affair with Nelly Ternan, an actress, only a year older than his 17 year old daughter at the time. Dickens marriage fell apart but his relationship with Ternan went on for 13 years and some believe that his early demise might have been due to trying to keep his double life a secret. John Lennon’s affair with the Japanese artist Yoko Ono not only helped break up the Beatles but his marriage to wife Cynthia as well. King Edward VIII abdicated from the throne of England to be with Mrs Simpson. Paris of Troy and Helena’s love sparked the Trojan War, considered to be one of the most epic battles in history. I am no way condoning any of these acts… If you love and care about your partner you wouldn’t actively seek to be with another. Sometimes these things may happen – a fleeting moment of weakness if you will. But unless you are a great leader, artist or important figure and have designs on changing or contributing to history, keep it zipped is my advice! You will not only hurt the person you are with but potentially yourself, because I believe in karma and what goes around, eventually comes around. Times have changed and we are lucky to find someone we can trust let alone one that we want to spend our lives with… Sentimental romantic much? Yeah that’s me…

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