Home Page >> Columnists Funda GUMUSH | 23 August 2015, Sunday

Let me tell you a story... Part 2


Remember the story of the young couple who met after 20 years and instantly fell in love... 

Well they are still together but only just. Paths in their lives have made it hard for them to spend quality time together; in order to earn a living, the man has to live away from the woman he loves. This has taken its toll on their relationship. Many warned that long distance relationships are hard but they knew that as long as they loved each other, nothing and no one could break them. 

Until now. Recently the man applied for a job in the woman's hometown; after months of waiting to hear if he had got the job, he discovered that he had. Excellent right? Not so much, as the salary was not enough for him to get by. He was a proud man who wanted to look after the woman he loved and this salary wasnt anywhere near that. Frustrated the woman thought that this was their last chance to be together and urged the man to rethink the job, maybe make a counter offer to them. But being a bright businessman, he was refraining and looking at the issue in a more professional approach.  Broken hearted the woman had no choice but to accept his decision and wait.

But this was not the only problem; she had not seen him for a long time. He had been unemployed for nearly 8 months before he found another job and because he had only just started working again, he had no leave. They had not touched, smelled, kissed or been together as a couple for a whole year. This was the hardest thing either of them had ever done. This wasn't just about not being in each other's company as two people; it was about trust, commitment and understanding. It meant that everything had to be put on hold. Their lives, even though entwined by love, was taking separate paths and it was frightening.

The man started to become withdrawn, quiet and distant; in turn the woman became more needy and desperate, clinging to the last shreds of memories she had of their love. Even after he found a job in his own hometown, she hoped every weekend that he would come. But sometimes forces beyond his control didnt make this possible and it pained her but she endured, hoping that one day he would walk through the door.  

Yet she persevered because she loved him above all others... Everywhere in their home was a reminder of him... Every time she opened her wardrobe she saw his clothes or his aftershave... Every time she went to the kitchen, his mug and his favorite teapot... His shower gel hanging lonely and unused beside hers... Sometimes she would spray his aftershave onto their bed just so the longing she felt for him would ease...every time she opened her purse, she saw his grinning face looking back at her... 

But in her heart of hearts she knew deep down that the words of encouragement and of love from him were no longer enough. She wanted him close; to protect her because single women in her town were always harassed by men looking for a good time. She had no proof she was in a relationship... No ring, no presence of a man, nothing to ward off these unlikely suitors. Just his shadow would be enough... But it wasn't there... 

She began to hate the person she was becoming... Needy, tearful and aloof. She couldn't concentrate because her thoughts and her sleep was filled with him. The more desperate she became, the more she text or called. He stopped answering her messages because they were becoming longer and more frantic. He was tired too... Mentally and physically exhausted. He had no energy to speak let alone write messages to her... He felt like he was in a vicious circle. He wanted to be with her but he couldn’t take a job which would mean that they would have financial difficulties later. He didn't realize that he was slowly pushing her away... Maybe he hoped that if he pushed further enough, she would leave him... 

And now? She hasn't left him because she believes what they have is true... He wont leave her because deep down, he understands that she is this way because she misses him.  A love like this is needs nurturing and attention...

We don't just give up because things are hard… Giving up is a losers game; these two are fighters…

What will happen to them? Well we shall wait to find out... 

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