Home Page >> Columnists Rasıh REŞAT | 18 January 2015, Sunday

Doctor's orders


“If you continue with your life style you will end up dead” said my doctor after a mild chest pain I suffered the other night, putting everyone including myself in panic.

First of all I would like to apologise from every one and assure them that I am not going anywhere just yet and I will be continuing to annoy politicians and wrongdoers for as much as I can before I kick the bucket.

I still haven’t climbed Mount Everest, haven’t been to seen the pyramids, haven’t drank a cup of Kopi Lowak (which is the most expensive coffee in the world which is produced after some kind of wild cat eats the coffee beans and then passes it on the ground for people to pick it up and grind it to sell for hundreds of dollars) and I certainly haven’t driven a Mustang Shelby yet and there are great deal of stuff on my bucket list that are still to be crossed out.

They said that the mild narrowing of my arteries would get worse in due course if I continued with my life style. 

The doctors have informed me that I need go easy on the booze, the fags, the food and the stress.

When the doctors were going on about “my life style” for a minute or two I thought I was a drug addict, constantly drunk; rock star, going in and out of rehab and living a life that was no tomorrow. It’s not that; I was worried that the doctors thought I was some sort of junkie.

I made it my duty to inform them I was nothing but an overweight, not very physically active, chain smoking journalist, so they didn’t get the wrong idea. To my surprise they knew exactly what and whom they were talking about.

Damn Facebook and the fame that comes with it. If you share the pictures of you and your mates drinking yourself stupid and eating senselessly at the local Meyhane’s you will end up being a case study for Cardiologists before you even visit them.

So there you go my dear readers.

I am laying off the booze, cutting down on the cigarettes from a glorious 40 a day to 10 and trying to explore yummy world of vegetables for the next few months to see how it goes.

Doctor’s orders my friends.

And I still got that shitty coffee to drink before I go anywhere.

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